St. John United Church of Christ, Arlington Hts., Illinois
April 25, 2010 – Good Shepherd Sunday
1 Timothy 4:7b-16
"Being an Example for Others by Paying Attention to Yourself”
Rev. Jeffrey L. Phillips, pastor

“Do not despise your youth, but set the believers an example….”

“Train yourself in godliness.”

“We have our hope set on the living God.”

v. 14: “Do not neglect the gift that is in you….”

v. 16: “Pay close attention to yourself…, for in doing so you will save both yourself and your hearers.”

Timothy and Paul

Timothy was already a leader, yet he must have faced some opposition because of his age, or he thought this was the case.

This must have caused him to withdraw somewhat from his role as leader.

Paul, mentor and encourager, says the above things to Timothy [repeat, explain]

You are a leader.

We are all leaders because people are looking at each other all the time for clues about how to live.

You may not feel like a leader.  In fact, you may think that no one is paying attention to the way you live your life.

You may think you’re not a leader because of your age, education, or lack of “gifts.”

Bu you are a leader because your words and actions – and your interior life of emotions and faith – are noticed by others.

And can have a subtle, but very real, influence on others.  From Wikipedia:

Informational social influence was first documented in Muzafer Sherif's experiment.^[3] He was interested in how many people change their opinions to bring them in line with the opinion of a group.  Participants were placed in a dark room and asked to stare at a small dot of light fifteen feet away.  They were then asked to estimate the amount it moved.  The trick was there was no movement.  The apparent change was caused by a visual illusion.  Every person perceived different amounts of movement.  Over time, the same estimate was agreed on and others conformed to it.  Sherif suggested that this was a simulation for how social norms develop in a society, providing a common frame of reference for people.

Subsequent experiments were based on more realistic situations.  In an eyewitness identification task, participants were shown a suspect individually and then in a lineup of other suspects.  They were given one second to identify the suspect, making it a difficult task.  One group was told that their input was very important and would be used by the legal community.  The other groups was told it was simply a trial.  Being more motivated to get the right answer increased the tendency to conform.  Those who wanted to be most accurate conformed 51% of the time as opposed to 35% in the other group.^[4]

Bottom line: we are watching each other all the time.  We pay attention to what others think, wear, vote, and act - even when we’re not aware of it.  We like to think that we are completely independent of the influence of others.  We make up our own minds about everything, right?  No.  What others do and think goes into the calculation of what we do and think. 

This means that we’re also being watched by others all the time – our thinking, attitudes, actions, emotions – even when we’re not aware of it.  And the way we live, what we think, and our attitudes – these all influence how others live and think.

That’s why I say we’re all leaders.

Which candidates to support, what to spend our money on, how to live the Christian life.

That’s especially true in our official capacities (wife, husband, parent, worker, citizen, church member, committee member).

We parents know that our children are watching us all the time. 

You can tell a child not to swear, but if your child hears you swear, you can be sure that they will, too.

Parents who read will raise children who read.  Parents who volunteer in the PTA are many times more likely to raise children who will volunteer in the PTA when they grow up and have their own children.  Parents who practice impulse buying will probably raise children who grow up to be impulsive shoppers.   

Our interior life – attitudes and emotions – influences the interior life of others.

Attitudes and opinions about certain groups: race, sexual orientation, gender.  If we get the idea that it’s OK to have a bias again gay people, we’re more likely to have that bias ourselves.

Emotions – both joy and anxiety.  This is subtle.  We know when someone is happy, don’t we?  We also know when someone is angry, annoyed or anxious.  We don’t have to be told.  We just perceive it. 

And the way they are tends to influence our emotions, too.

            Faith also (not just belief only, but the patterns of “godliness” and “trust” in God)

We are influenced by others, but that means that others are also influenced by us.

The key thing is self-awareness about these things: our emotions, our core principles and values, and whether we really believe that stuff about God or not. 

We become aware of them as we take time to discover them – look within, learn how to become reflective.  “Pay close attention to yourself.”

And as we discover what’s going on with our emotional life, what we really believe about God, and how we’re going to live this in the world, we begin to act on these things in the world.

And this is scary because it might mean not conforming to the norms and expectations of others – standing out from the crowd a bit. 

This can feel awkward.  That’s why we conform in the first place – we like the feeling that comes with being part of a group, being accepted, being “normal.”

But sometimes “normal” isn’t OK.  Sometimes there’s a better way than “normal.”

It takes courage to support a different candidate than the one all your friends and family members support.

It takes courage to be calm when everyone else around you is falling apart.

It takes courage to say No when others think it’s OK to hold anti-gay attitudes.

It takes courage to place your hope in God when a situation looks hopeless.

This is leadership.

It all begins with “training yourself in godliness.”

When others see that you are deepening your life of faith, that what you do as a Christian is motivated by your inner devotion to God, they will notice it, and say, “I want what she’s got.”

If you devote time to knowing yourself and knowing God, it will first change you (for the better), but it will also change others (for the better) as they see a person living with more integrity and peace, and it rubs off on them.

Sometimes the way we practice our faith (going to church, being a good person, serving on committees, etc.) is confused with faith itself (an interior reality).

Therefore, our first duty as Christians is not to do good in the world, but to “pay close attention to ourselves” and our relationship with God, for that is what drives our actions. 

This is “training ourselves in godliness,” “putting our hope in the living God.”

This is the paradox of leadership.

Successful leadership does not begin with “paying close attention” to others and their functioning and emotions.  Thought this is tempting!  And this is how we usually live! 

It does not begin with trying to do certain things ourselves as leaders. 

Leading others well begins with “paying close attention” to ourselves – our emotions, our needs, our core principles and values.

Gandhi put it best.  “Be the change you want to see in the world.”

If you want others to live with faith, be a person of faith yourself.  If you think it’s important that your children and grandchildren grow up to be people of prayer and faith, then you need to start today to be a person of prayer and faith yourself.

If you think it’s important for others to take joy and delight in God, to place their hope in the living God, then you need today to start placing all your hope in God.

If you think it’s important that people act from a place of inner peace rather than inner turmoil, then you need to start looking within and finding God’s “gift” of inner peace and acting on that basis in the world.

If you want other people to be happy, learn to live with joy yourself (a spiritual issue, not just psychological or emotional).

How does one do that?  How do we “train ourselves” in godliness and self-reflection?

            It takes effort.  Timothy is commended for his efforts in self-discipline. 

Some people will never learn to be non-anxious.  They are so anxious that improvement is unlikely.  But others can learn.  They are teachable.

Some people will never get that inner sense of God’s presence and peace.  But others can learn.  They are teachable, “trainable.”

One way is through therapy.

One way is by taking advantage of opportunities here at church for spiritual growth (retreats), adult education events, and during worship (today we say the Lord’s Prayer with pauses for reflection).

Spiritual reading and morning devotions (Stillspeaking devotions, Upper Room).

How is your prayer life?  Do you meditate?

You can’t change others, but you can change yourself (with God’s help).  So work on what you can change – yourself.

The irony is that when you do change yourself, you can have a significant impact on others.

Sabbatical – not only learning about India, but paying attention to myself and deepening my trust in God.

The more I understand myself, and the more I am in love with God, the more effective pastor I will be.

The same is true for you as a leader in your household, place of work, church, etc.

You see, religion starts within, not by what you say and how you live on the outside. 

Leadership, too, begins within - not by what you say and do on the outside.

How is your interior life today?  How are you feeling today?  What are your core principles and values?  How is your relationship with God?  Are you anxious today?  What about?  Can you live with peace today?  Can you trust God more?  Can you live with more joy and less anxiety? 

And are you willing to do something about these crucial things?

How you answer those questions has everything to do with how well you will be able to live a joyful, well-ordered life, not worrying about what others think about you, and how well you’ll be able to “set the believers an example.”